Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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