I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
