So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
