The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
