ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
MIDGETS
????
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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