My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
