You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have feelings that need drinking.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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