You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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