In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
