One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
