After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
