Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
