I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
