Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
