If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
