i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
