A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
