yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
