Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
