So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
