brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
