I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
