They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
