I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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