I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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