69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
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he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
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then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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