So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
