I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
