How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
