put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
