Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
