It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
