The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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