Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
