I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
