smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I need a burrito and a hug.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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