Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
