Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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