is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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