The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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