I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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