Where is the hickey?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
