I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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