Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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