whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
