Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
