Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
