i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
dude. I can hear the air.
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