I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
