just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
