Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Green mimosas i think yes
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
