so let's talk penis.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
smell my finger.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
