Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
