well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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