im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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