i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Is Oprah even human
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
