i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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