yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just had sex on a roof
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
