i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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