he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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