Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
