My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
