We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
