My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i think i have two assholes
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well I just put wine in my tea
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
