An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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