Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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