Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
