who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
